Often relationships break down because one or both partners start expecting more from their partner than they would dare ask a friend or colleague to do for them. Below is list of things that are not a partner’s responsibility to do for you all the time just because you may want them to or because they are married to you.
IT’S NOT YOUR PARTNER’S JOB TO:
1. Please you sexually every time you feel aroused.
That robs you from dealing with your own sexual urges and emotions, which each individual needs to learn to be responsible for ourselves.
2. Stay at home with you all the time and forgo time with their own friends, and their own hobbies just because you get lonely.
That robs you from finding friends and hobbies of your own and start learning how to fulfill your own life which every individual needs to learn how to do.
3. Be there so you can yell and scream, or hit, all your anger out on them.
That robs you from learning how to soothe your own emotions, and face up to what to what is really bothering you in your own life and do something proactive to change it.
4. Make you happy every time you are sad or depressed.
That robs you of having to deal with the things that you are sad and depressed about, and stops you from learning skills that will help you calm and heal your pain. Your partner can empathize with what you are going through but they are not counselors and are not trained to help you with these things.
5. Do all the things you don’t like doing. This may be taking care of the finances, organizing your social lives, cooking, cleaning, reading to your kids.
Not taking any responsibility for them robs you of the opportunity to stretch yourself and grow as a person. It also stops you from experience being part of a team which helps each other out. Chances are, your partner doesn’t actually enjoy doing the things you don’t like doing either. They probably just don’t complain about it as much as you do, and accept that it needs to be done.
6. Work 40 or more hours a week so that you can spend their hard earned cash and not contribute to the household budget by making any of your own.
That robs you from being responsible for yourself, challenging yourself to study or find a job that you will love, and learn how to get along with others in a workplace environment.
(This does not apply if you are looking after young children because you are definitely working and contributing to the household in a big way then, or if you have an illness which prevents you from working fulltime).
If you are lucky enough to have your partner do some of the above things for you, then make sure you tell them how much you appreciate it on a regular basis so they don’t feel taken for granted and start becoming resentful.